Star Fox: X-Misadventures
by Elarix
Summary: It may be the holidays, but Fox can't afford to take time off – not when he's struggling to get Star Fox Jr. Squadron off the ground. Perhaps the break he needs comes in the form of a contract to help a general's niece bring home the perfect Christmas tree. Based on (unfortunately) true events.


_A/N: The following is b__ased on many an unfortunate (but true) event_—_from this year and last. It __was a real spur-of-the-moment-type story that I had to write before my inspiration for it vanished. This takes place in my_ Misadventures_ timeline, and some of the setting and backstory won't make sense if you haven't read it, but it's not a big deal. Now without further ado…_

* * *

_Star Fox: X-Misadventures_

* * *

Fox and Falco pulled into the circular driveway leading to a sprawling mansion. The residence sat well outside the hustle and bustle of Corneria City, surrounded by verdant countryside instead of mile-long congested roads and towering skyscrapers. Fox rounded the fountain in the middle of the island—which was kept off during the winter—and parked in front of the luxuriant, columned porch. A shiny black SUV with tinted windows already sat waiting in front of them, its occupants probably inside. Fox suspiciously took note.

Together the vulpine and avian got out and slammed the doors to Fox's blue Messara sports car, grateful for their warm jackets in the otherwise frigid weather. Falco craned his head back to look up at the mansion's pompous façade, whistling in awe.

"Say! Pretty ritzy place they have here," he commented. "I bet they're loaded with dough."

"That's what I'm counting on," Fox answered as he walked up the stairs. "Otherwise I wouldn't have brought us all the way out here."

He rang the doorbell and the two waited, shifting their weight from right to left feet to keep their blood flowing in the cold. Before long a maid answered and let them into the luxuriant foyer, which Falco continued to gawk at and Fox tried his best not to.

"My mistress will be with you young gentlemen in a moment," the feline maid said while politely bowing. As soon as she disappeared from the room Fox and Falco wiggled their eyebrows and nudged each other with their elbows.

"Oh-ho, a mistress!" Falco ribbed Fox.

"I kinda like the sound of that…"

The two waited on the foyer for some time, with Falco absorbing the mansion's posh atmosphere and Fox impatiently tapping his foot. His ears eventually perked as they picked up the sound of multiple approaching pairs of shoes. He turned to find none other than his father James and honorary uncles Peppy and Pigma entering the foyer—they looked just as surprised to see the two kids as Fox and Falco were to see them.

"D-Dad, what are you doing here?" Fox stuttered.

"Well hey, Squirt! Guess you found a job for yourself after all!" He gestured back at Peppy and Pigma. "We were hired by the big G himself to provide aerial support for the CDF's Christmas war games. We're playing the enemy combatants."

"You mean General _Pepper?!" _Fox balked.

"In person! Just stopped by to go over some of the specifics with him, but we're headed out now. Wait a minute…" He pushed down his sunglasses to stare at Fox with sly eyes; then he stepped over and ruffled his hair playfully. "Don't tell me the general gave my own son a job as well! And you all didn't tell me? Aw you sneaky little… I bet you wanted to keep it a secret so you could surprise your old man and make me proud later! So go on, tell me; what is it? Night watch duty? Security for an event? Bill collecting? There's no shame in starting Star Fox Jr. Squadron out small—my foot in the door was watching neighbors' National Postal Service packages on their front doorsteps."

Fox coughed into his fist. "Ahem, well, a-actually we're here on security escort detail for a… VIP carrying a sensitive… payload. Yeah."

His father's jaw dropped. "Saaay! You're really coming up in the world! I'm quite impressed." He slapped Fox heartily on the back. "Well, we have to head out now. Be sure to tell me all about it when I return for Christmas!"

"Heh-heh, sure will Dad," Fox nervously waved.

The three members of the Star Fox OG Squad said goodbye and left through the front door, leaving Fox visibly flustered with hackles all over.

"Noticed you neglected to tell him our payload's just a Christmas tree…" Falco mumbled.

Fox sighed in frustration. "And _that's _the dad I took this mission to afford Christmas presents for. Go figure." He glanced around the foyer some more, the cogs turning in his head. "But I know for certain it wasn't Pepper who hired us; it was a woman, and her address pointed here." His eyes suddenly widened. "Oh no, if Pepper lives here, that must mean—!"

"Hiya, Fox!"

The junior mercenaries froze, turning slowly to see Fay Spaniel—the general's niece—skipping in from the hallway. She was the absolute picture of holiday cheer, decked out in a thick green Christmas sweeter and her usual red bow which the holiday season seemed to breathe new life into; it bobbed up and down as she walked and fit the seasonal color palette well.

The canine put on the brakes and stopped before them, tail wagging excitedly. "Well? Are you ready to go get that tree with me?!"

"F-Fay!" Fox stammered, "what a wonderful surprise(?)"

Falco looked at her in shock. "What happened to being kidnapped and held for ransom?"

Here the snow-furred spaniel crossed her arms and pouted. "Hmph! Black Mamba kidnapped me over 3 years ago and you _never _came for me! If I didn't know any better I'd think you didn't _want _to rescue me!"

Fox laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Gosh, was it _that _long ago? Sorry we never came to your rescue, but, um… the trail went cold, and odd job after odd job sorta came up, and we couldn't fund the search if we didn't accept them, so I'm sad to say we kinda… forgot, he-he?"

"I'm just curious how you got free," Falco admitted. "Did Black Mamba get tired of waiting for the ransom money or a rescue attempt?"

"Oh, not at all!" Fay beamed. "She was just annoyed by the constant Christmas music I played as soon as the Halloween special ended. You know I can listen to that stuff 24/7, but Cira…" She placed a finger on her chin and looked pensively at the ceiling. "It drove her up the wall for some reason."

Fox nodded knowingly. "Makes sense. Christmas music is sonic poison to the ears of every goth girl." He pointed a finger at her. "Still, that doesn't explain why you hired us all the way from Papetoon to help you find a Christmas tree. I have a sneaking suspicion you just want me over here so you can beg to be on my team again!"

Fay looked horrified and earnestly shook her head. "Oh no, I already tried that! The whole reason I had Cira kidnap me was so you'd have to come to my rescue, then I'd escape on my own and prove to you what a valuable asset I could be for the team!"

Fox slapped a hand over his face while Falco rolled his eyes. "You mean you _paid _Black Mamba to kidnap you?"

"Y-yes, what's wrong with that? No one was ever in any real danger."

"'No one was in danger'?! That haunted house claimed the lives of an entire six-piece electronicore band!"

Falco patted his friend on the shoulder. "Eh, relax Fox; it's no huge loss. I think this makes us even. She tricked us into trying to rescue her, and you abandoned Fay to whatever horrible fate her captor had in mind."

Fox sighed and rubbed his temples. "Well, I guess you're right… but I'm calling off the current mission."

Fay's countenance deflated, the bow on her ear going limp. "Aw Fox, really? After you came all this way?" She held her thumb and index finger close together, leaving a small gap between them. "I just wanted you to help me find a teensy, _weensy _Christmas tree to liven my house up! And I was feeling rather lonely over the holidays. You couldn't give me a little company?" She adopted a comically-sad expression, eyes trembling with ready-to-burst tears.

"Sorry sister," Falco waved her off, "But you pulled the wool over our eyes once. I don't blame my boss for turning you down."

"I'll bake Christmas cookies—"

"WE ACCEPT!"

Fox blinked, Falco's 180 taking him by surprise. "Whoa-whoa, I'm the team captain here, and my answer was no!"

"Come on, Foxy! How can you turn down homemade Christmas cookies baked with love? Even _you_ can't refuse something like that!"

The vulpine crossed his arms. "I can and I will."

"Where's your Christmas spirit? This poor gal needs our help securing a Christmas tree to beat back the lonely holiday blues, but you can't find it in you to _give _a little? Where's your holiday spirit? Where's your Christmas cheer? You know Fox, I hate to say it and get all serious this time of year, but you're being a real Grinch right now, you know that? A real Ebeneezer Scrooge."

As the bird went off on him, Fox gradually shrunk back, his ears flattening against his skull. "Whoa, Falco, I don't mean to be—"

"I bet you're one of those Christmas truthers who're all like, 'Ummmm, actually, Christmas was always a satanic pagan tradition.' You're just an edgy atheist who can't have any fun on holidays because they were started by religious institutions!"

"Uh, ouch! Okay—"

"Yeah, and you know what else? You're a woke socialist who thinks it's all a corporate conspiracy to subliminally program us into wanting to buy products, is that it?!"

"No, Falco, listen—"

"You good-for-nothing, stick-in-the-mud, wet-blanket—"

"Falco—!"

"Holiday-hating, summerphile—"

"Falco!"

"CHARLIE BROWN!"

"ALRIGHT, I'll do it!" Fox finally exploded. "Come on Fay, let's get your dumb tree…"

Fay jumped up-and-down happily, pumping her fist. "Yay! I get to hunt down a tree with Star Fox! Let's go, boys!"

The spaniel and avian went merrily skipping through the front door while Fox trudged glumly behind, muttering darkly to himself with his hands in his pockets. It was going to be a long day…

* * *

They got into Fox's car, with Fay sitting in the middle of the backseat. Fox was just about to start up the vehicle when Fay poked her head between his and Falco's seats, startling him. She looked around the interior curiously.

"Hey, I remember this car. Are you going to address how you got it all the way here from Papetoon?"

Ignoring her, Fox turned the key in the ignition and started the engine.

"No? Well it was worth a shot…"

They set out from the mansion, pulling the car around the circular driveway and onto the country road. Fox's ears perked when he heard Fay rustling through her bag followed by the sound of a plastic case opening. She leaned forward between their seats again and slipped a silvery-disc towards the entertainment unit, but Fox grabbed her wrist with ninja-like reflexes without even taking his eyes off the road.

"Whoa, what are you doing there?"

"I just thought we'd play some music to get into the holiday spirit!"

Fox stole a glance at the blank CD in her paw, which was scribbled over in smeared permanent marker; she had drawn snowflakes, ornaments, and Christmas trees all over the empty cover.

"Oh no. Uh-uh. No Christmas music in this car! And a pirated CD mixtape? In _this _day and age? Can't you just stream everything now and kill the music industry that way?"

"Well it's just not the same!" Fay whined. "Now unhand my mixtape, or I'll dock your pay."

"Yeah Fox, let her play her music!" Falco argued. "We could use the extra cash."

Reluctantly Fox let go of Fay's wrist and let her insert the disc, though he muttered to himself, _"This was never a part of our contract…"_

The painfully-overplayed and disgustingly-cheery Christmas music began to assault his ears from the speakers, and for once Fox cursed how hi-fi his audio setup was. He glanced over at Falco to see how he was taking it, only to find him wearing a pair of hot-pink ear plugs. He gave Fox a smug grin and a thumbs-up.

* * *

Thankfully the ride to their destination was short-lived; instead of driving all the way out to the mountains to fell their own tree from a dedicated farm, Fay had them stop at a home-improvement store in the heart of the Corneria City suburbs. After Fox parked Fay lead them to the tree portion of the shop, which stood behind a tall fenced-in area at the side of the store usually reserved for landscaping supplies. All the while Fox prayed for something exciting to happen—_anything _that would make the mission more dangerous than an average family's annual Christmas tree run, but he had no such luck. Once again Star Fox Jr. Squadron's metal went untested; their true potential horribly squandered on a run-of-the-mill civilian task.

Vulpine and avian followed Fay to the section of trees matching the height she was looking for; each one stood a foot or two taller than the three tree-hunters.

When they arrived Fox stood back and crossed his arms. "Well? See any that appeal to you? It's your pick."

Fay scrunched up her face, scrutinizing the line of trees as if it was a bathing beauty contest—one that was about to get quite physical. The spaniel waved her two bodyguards over. "Come on; let's give this tree a try."

Fox and Falco simply looked at each other before Falco rolled his eyes and elected to go first. He pulled the netting-bound tree away from the rest, standing it tall for Fay to see. "Look good?" he asked.

Fay scratched her chin thoughtfully. "Hmmmm… can't tell. Hold it still while I cut the plastic off."

"Uh, you sure you can do that?"

"Of course! That's just for when they ship them here. They'll put a new sheath thingy on for us when we leave." The canine produced a pair of scissors and had at the netting, slicing it open. The tree looked quite uncomfortable, but stretched its aching branches anyway.

Fay gestured up and down violently. "Alright, now give it a good shake. Fox, you help too."

The vulpine grabbed the other side of the tree and with Falco's help banged the trunk against the concrete floor. The pine leaves rustled loudly with each crash, the dead needles raining to the ground.

"If we keep this up any longer there won't be much left," Falco huffed.

"Enough!" Fay yipped. "Now spread the branches out."

The two mercenaries maneuvered around the tree, gingerly bending the branches down to a more natural angle after they had stayed bunched up in the bag for so long. Fay twirled her hands, and her assistants took the cue to rotate the tree for her to see from every angle. She studied it intently for a minute before nodding definitively.

"Okay, I've decided!"

"Whew!" Fox exclaimed.

"Well that didn't take too—"

"This isn't the one!"

They stopped celebrating. "Aw you've gotta be kidding me," Falco complained.

"Nope! Choosing the right Christmas tree is one of the most important decisions of the year. You can't go back!"

"You know reports say Christmas trees cause 160 annual house fires per year, if you wanted to reconsider," Fox pointed out.

"Next tree!"

"_And _three deaths. Now count how many of us there are: one, two, three, Fay! _Three!"_

But she ignored his pleas, moving on to another Christmas tree. Fox and Falco lay the rejected tree back against the others and followed her. They repeated Fay's ritual so many times they lost count; unwrapping the tree, shaking the needles loose, and slowly rotating each one she picked out.

After a half hour Fay had left in her wake an army of disgruntled, roughed-up Christmas trees. It wasn't until they unwrapped the final tree that they scored. From every angle Fay observed, the foliage and shape looked perfect, and the needles clung to their branches like gorilla glue to careless fingers. The only problem was…

"That trunk is more bent than a candy cane," Falco observed.

Fay and Fox crouched low to get a better look, but as soon as Fox did the tree began to tip and he shot back up to hold it.

"Oh, I don't think it's _that _bad," Fay stated. "It's only curved like… 45° at most. I know my geography."

Fox carefully held the tree so he could squat and get a better view of it himself. "What happened? It seriously looks like it grew crooked out of the ground."

Falco pointed at the line of rejected Christmas trees behind them. "Wouldn't you rather have one of those? They have a better shot at standin' upright."

"No, none of those will do!" Fay insisted. "This is the best one—besides the trunk, of course. I think we can make it work."

The avian protested again, "We could always keep looking for a better—" but Fox cleared his throat loudly and sent a look of icicles his way, silencing him. "Yeah, uh, on second thought let's go with this!"

"Yay, we found a tree! I'll meet you at the cashier's."

While Fox and Falco hefted the tree between them—a task much more difficult now that it was outside the netting—Fay skipped on ahead past a penguin family with a crying toddler. Falco took up the curved trunk while Fox had to dig through the pine needles to find the sturdy upper stalk. And by the time he did he had sap all over his hands, essentially gluing him to the tree. Though even if he _could_ let go, he wouldn't for fear of getting sap on his clothing, car, friends, or other innocent bystanders, dooming them to a similar sticky fate.

Part of the netting and twine that had held the tree together continued to drag along the concrete floor, but Fox ignored it—until it was much too late. "Gangway!" Falco called as they passed through a merry family of beavers, but at that moment the twine snapped taught. Fox found his right leg lassoed in what could only be described as a guerilla warfare snare trap. He tripped forward but managed to catch himself before falling. Falco likewise found his upper torso pulled backwards when Fox abruptly stopped, his grip on the tree causing him to almost fall over backwards.

"Hey, what's the holdup?! Get a move on back there!" he said grumpily.

"I-I can't! I'm stuck!"

Fox looked down to see that the twine ran all the way around the corner of the shelf, looped behind a display, and originated from back where they had found the tree. The tangled twine holding him in place made it feel like he'd been snared in the web of a massive Christmas spider. To make matters worse, the family of beavers pointed and laughed at his plight. Humiliated, Fox kicked his foot back and forth until finally he managed to break free from the rope and escape. Together with Falco he tucked his head and ears down and scampered away with the tree, hounded by calls of chittering laughter.

Once they caught up with Fay at the register she took a painfully-long time sorting through her gift cards, expired coupons, and cred chips. By the time she found the right card the tree felt grafted onto Fox and Falco's hands.

Next they passed the tree over to the employees at the front who worked by the street, placing it on the big table they had set up. Fox couldn't believe his ears when he heard non-Christmas music playing for once; "Highway to Hell" currently blasted over the speaker system.

"I'm surprised you aren't playing holiday music like everyone else," he commented to the bulldog that took the tree.

"Oh no! Never! We don't play Christmas songs until like, June, and then _maybe_ one."

"Hey, I'm not complaining!" Fox assured him. "But I wanted to ask you about this tree. It's the best we could find, except for the trunk; you can see it's bent at the bottom. Will that be much of a problem?"

The bulldog leaned over to get a look. "As long as you tighten the screws in the stand well enough it should be fine."

While the employees pushed the tree through the baler to wrap it again, Fox brought the car around to pick it up. A polar bear dressed in flannel and a set of fake deer antlers—which seemed superfluous given his species—hefted the tree onto the top of his car and began securing it with more twine, which Fox made sure to stay clear of this time.

The polar bear got Falco's attention, about to throw the twine over the roof of the car. "Here, I'll toss this over to you on the other side, then you can pass it back to me."

Fox watched as Falco disappeared to the other side of the car, helping the worker secure the tree in place.

"Don't tie yourself to the roof again, Ned!" the bulldog called out, laughing.

Eventually the polar bear checked back in with Fox, who had the car warming up.

"All set to go," he said. "Drive carefully, and get that fella in water right away."

"Thank you!" Fox returned with a wave. "And have a merry Christmas!"

Fay hopped into the passenger seat, breathing onto her hands to warm them up. "Oh yeah, I get shotgun this time!"

"Sorry Fay, but Falco has dibs on it."

"First come, first served!" she countered. "The early bird came late this time."

Fox blinked and looked around. "Huh, now that you mention it, why isn't he here?" He scanned the parking lot and as much of the store exterior as he could see, but there wasn't a plume of a blue feather in sight. "Where did he get off to?"

Fay cracked her door open. "Let's go look for him! Time for another adventure!"

"Uh-uh!" Fox exclaimed, getting out instead and closing her door. "You stay here in case he turns back up at the car. I'll go inside to look. Maybe he just went to the bathroom without telling me…"

The vulpine looked all over the interior of the store, but none of the workers had seen anyone matching the description of a blue-feathered falcon. Defeated and utterly perplexed, Fox returned to the car and texted Falco, but got no response; the avian left him hanging. When he got back in his seat and started the car, Fay told him Falco hadn't returned either, which frustrated him further.

"Are we just going to leave him here?" Fay asked worriedly.

"Well yeah, if he's gonna skip out on us like that. But don't worry, Falco can take care of himself. I'm sure he'll find his way back to your house."

"Oh boy, that means I have you all to myself!" She jammed the button to start the CD playing from where it left off and began singing along in an unbearably-loud, horribly off-key voice. Fox pulled out of the shopping center, weeping.

* * *

After a short trip Fox pulled into Fay's circular driveway and stopped in front of the steps. The two set to work getting the tree free with Fay's scissors.

"Alright Fay, with Falco gone I'm gonna need you to help me carry it in. Think you can do that?"

The spaniel giggled and flexed her right arm, winking. "Hey, I'm stronger than I look! The question is if _you _can keep up!"

She helped Fox roll the tree off the roof of his car, and they caught it in their arms with a huff when it fell over the side. Yet underneath where the tree had been they saw…

"Falco!" Fox exclaimed, dropping his end of the tree. Fay wheezed and struggled to keep her end upright. "What the heck are you doing there?!"

The avian peeled himself free of the roof, revealing his torso was covered in green pine needles like a hedgehog. With creaking joints he dropped down onto the sidewalk and set to brushing himself off. He had to pinch some of the more difficult pine needles that refused to go easily, screwing up his face in pain before he yoinked them out.

"Ugh, you wouldn't believe me if I told you, but here it goes anyway. One second I was helping the polar bear tie the tree to the roof, then I blinked, and all of a sudden… I was lying flat on my back, pinned between the Christmas tree and the roof of the car!"

Fay placed a paw over her mouth. "Oh my gosh Falco, that must have been awful! And to think we drove all the way back here with you tied up like that!"

"Oh-ho-ho, that was only the beginning! Once you got out on the freeway and really started going fast, I slipped out from beneath the tree and onto your trunk! Only way I stayed on was by clamping my beak down on the trunk and hanging on! I waved furiously but you guys didn't see—you know you should adjust your rear-view mirror, Fox. Then when I couldn't stand the taste of pine bark any longer I let go and fell onto the road. And if it wasn't for a piece of twine getting caught around my foot, I would've been a goner! You dragged me all the way from 66 to 23, at which point you slowed down enough to allow me to get up. I jogged behind the car for several miles; _three _separate times I nearly caught up with you at stoplights, but right before I reached the car each time the light turned green and it was back to sprinting for my life again! Finally by the fourth traffic light I caught up and climbed back under the tree, and boy I've never been so relieved to be crushed by a Christmas iron maiden of pine needles!"

"Wow…" Fox breathed, "well that explains everyone honking at us. Geez Falco, you should've done something more to catch our attention! You look _awful._"

The avian shrugged. "Eh, it was worth not having to listen to Fay's Christmas mixtape."

Fay pointed worriedly at a set of black tire tracks that ran across the front of his jacket. "Falco, wh-what happened here?!"

He looked down at the tracks on his coat with a bewildered expression. "Huh, you know I don't actually remember…"

Fox blanched when he recognized the tire pattern. "Uh, no sense worrying about it! Let's get this tree in some water, pronto!"

* * *

Together Fox and Falco carried the tree up the front steps, with Fay running on ahead to open the door. They followed her into the mansion's spacious living room where she had a tree stand, several tangles of Christmas lights, and boxes upon boxes of ornaments all waiting. Fox and Falco grunted as they finally stood the tree upright in the base, but the curved trunk immediately presented a problem: they had to scoot it all the way to the side of the ring of screws and wedge a brick doorstop into the remaining space so that it fit at all. After twisting the screws all the way in and making sure the tree balanced—however precariously—they cut through the netting a second time, and the lush green branches unfurled even more dramatically than before. Only now something was different…

Fox scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Hey, have you lost weight?" he asked it.

Together they turned around to see a carpet of green needles lying across the living room floor and out into the hallway.

"Just look at what we did to the floor," Fay whimpered.

"Aw don't worry about it, we'll help you clean it up; but first let's get the sap off our hands."

Fay snapped her fingers. "I know just the thing! I'll meet you in the kitchen."

The three parted ways, with Fay going off on her little mission, Fox seeking out the kitchen, and Falco excusing himself to the bathroom. When Fox located the sink he dumped the soap dispenser over his sap-covered fingers and power-washed them with hot water, eager to rid himself of the clingy tree blood. After a few minutes with little success, Fay showed up holding a bottle of rubbing alcohol.

"Here, this should do the trick. But first, do you have any cuts? It'll sting like Venom if you do."

"Nah, I'm fine," Fox assured her. "'d remember getting a cut."

"Alright then, here goes…" Fay poured the bottle of alcohol over his hands, and Fox quickly set to work rubbing it into the sap. To his chagrin he discovered he _had _in fact cut himself—_many _times, in fact, and his hands practically burst into flames.

"Yeouch! You were right! I don't even remember getting any of these…"

He took the bottle from Fay and poured some into her hands. Just like him she winced, but pressed on anyways. He had to give Fay credit; the alcohol removed the sap like magic, leaving not a trace of the sticky solution to glue his fingers and fur together.

Falco returned while they were washing their hands; he still held his wings a safe distance from the rest of his body because of the sap, as if he were a doctor keeping his hands sterile before an operation.

Fox set the bottle of alcohol down by the sink. "Try using this; it works wonders. But beware—you'll discover cuts you never even knew you had."

Falco snatched the bottle up. "Relax Foxy, I don't got any. I ain't a klutz like you."

The vulpine exchanged knowing glances with Fay as they exited the kitchen, leaving Falco to douse the solution over his wings alone. From down the hall they heard him say, "I think I'd know if I had cuts on my-AIYEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

* * *

With the sap threat neutralized they took a crack at the boxes of decorations Fay had strewn about the room. Fox and Falco flipped open the top of the first box, their eyes going wide when they beheld the menagerie of glass baubles within. They couldn't see it, but dazzling ruby and emerald flecks of light reflected onto their faces.

They set to work decorating the tree, with Fay unpacking the ornaments and handing them out one-by-one. As she passed out each antique she revealed the story behind them; how old they were, how the family had acquired them, and which were the favorites of each of her close relatives. Fox and Falco gingerly accepted each ornament and handled them with care, as if they were relics from ancient times that belonged behind museum glass. They hung them evenly spaced around the tree, along with the colored lights and shimmering strands of tinsel. It was enough to make Fox miss decorating the tree with his parents like he used to.

Finally, to top it all off, Fox and Falco lifted Fay up to crown the tree with a golden star. It was tricky business trying to balance her, and they probably should have begun with the star before stringing up the delicate ornaments, but Fay insisted they wait to put the star on until the end. With everything ready the three stood back. Fay turned off the lights in the room, and Falco flipped the switch to the power outlet.

The tree sparkled gloriously in all its cheery splendor, dazzling their eyes like a display of burning jewels. It put to shame any artificial tree they could have found at a store, and in that moment Fox felt like the effort he and Falco had put in was finally worth it. Falco couldn't resist pulling out his phone and taking a selfie of the three of them standing proudly before their work.

Still marveling at the tree, Fay slipped her arms through Fox and Falco's, and for once the vulpine didn't shrink away. "Wow, thanks you guys! It looks better than any year before! But we can admire it later; I have a contract to fulfill."

Falco rubbed his wings together hungrily. "Cookies?!"

"Mhmm! The dough and icing's all made—we just have to cut them out and bake them for a few minutes, then they'll be ready."

Fox followed her out of the room, licking his chops. "Mind if I have some raw dough? It's my favorite part."

"Sure! If you promise not to sue for salmonella poisoning, that is."

"Deal!"

They left the living room and flocked back to the kitchen. Fay pulled out a large bowl of dough from the fridge and dumped it onto a wooden cutting board covered in flour. She passed out holiday-themed aprons to Fox and Falco who wore them without question—not when Christmas cookies were on the line. They set to work cheerily flattening the dough with a rolling pin, cutting out snowflake, tree, and star-shaped pieces, and decorating them on a baking sheet with sprinkles and colored sugar.

Falco proudly held up his creation; an angular-shaped cookie painted with blue and white icing. "Aw sweet, I made an Arwing!"

Fox was just about to place an orange M&M in the center of a snowman-shaped cookie when a tremendous crash sounded from down the hall, followed by a cacophony of glass tinkling noises. Each of them froze in place, exchanging wide-eyed glances.

"THE TREE!" they all exclaimed at once.

Hurriedly they dropped what they were doing, tossed off their aprons, and charged back to the living room. Their worst fears were realized when they saw the tree lying completely prostrated on the floor, its upended stand having spilled water all over the room, and priceless glass ornaments shattered in heaps or continuing to roll haphazardly about. The string of lights pulled taught between the fallen tree and the wall socket, looking as if it were about to snap at any moment. In the end, the curved trunk had proved to be its downfall.

"Well," Falco shrugged, "it's only a Christmas tree. It was gonna die anyway."

But Fay looked mortified, her voice climbing in pitch. "Oh no, my uncle is going to _kill_ me!"

"Then don't just stand there!" Fox admonished them. "Let's get it back upright! Fay, grab some towels for the water and trash bags for the broken ornaments! Falco, help me adjust the base so it stays in place! We'll make this tree work if I have to hold it straight myself from now until after Christmas!"

* * *

Later that night the snow began to fall in the dark, the flakes glimmering gold in the porch and driveway lights of the Pepper residence. Fox, Falco, and Fay sat bundled in warm blankets in front of the living room window, watching in hallowed silence as the flurry began. Like the others Fox gratefully munched on Fay's cookies, which he had to admit were delicious; he almost considered inviting her to the team after all for the sole purpose of continuing to bake for them. Seriously weighing the matter, he chased a candle-shaped cookie down with a refreshing glass of milk, smacking his satisfied lips afterwards.

It felt good being done for the day, and, barring a few mishaps—okay, a _lot _of mishaps—the mission was overall a success. But perhaps best of all he got to spend the day with his friends, which alone made it a worthwhile venture. He glanced with a sappy look at Fay, who smiled back before biting into her own cookie, then at Falco who just rolled his eyes in response before returning to stare mesmerized at the snow.

Finally he looked back at their Christmas tree, which now stood safely propped at a 45° angle from its base to accommodate for the bent trunk. The tree glowed merrily back at him in all its perfect, _imperfect_ splendor.

* * *

_A/N__: __Merry Christmas! ...And yes, that is my poor Christmas tree on the cover. RIP._


End file.
